The best thing you can do for your children
Hi !
You probably heard this statement from your parent, from other parents, and maybe even said it yourself:
"I just want you to be happy."
This
statement usually comes with good intentions, although there can be the underlying desire of how the parent wants the child to be happy...
it's not usually the same way the child imagines.
It's my personal belief that a parent's intention for their child to learn how to navigate all their emotions, especially the difficult ones, is more beneficial to them than wishing them to be happy all the time.
If you're reading this, you're very likely a human being.
You are here in this lifetime to
experience what it's like to be a human, and that comes with a full range of emotions.
It's very likely impossible to genuinely remain in the "upper levels" of emotions all the time.
Perhaps someday I'll ask one of those people who stay in a cave in India meditating all the time, but is that really living fully?
Life is going to life, feelings are going to come up, especially as you experience partnership, parenthood, or work through past issues, traumas, and adverse childhood experiences.
Without the darkness of lower
range of emotions, the lightness of the higher ones would not be so bright.
It's crucially important to your mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual health for you to be comfortable sitting in your discomfort of those uncomfortable emotions.
And I mean, fully feel them and learn to be with them and not skim the surface, distract yourself from them, erupt on others, or make decisions that are not in your benefit...or hurtful to others.
This is the biggest tool you can share with your child:
Learn to just be with your feelings and take time to be by yourself.
It is not the best time to interact with others or make any major life decisions when you are in a state of emotional or mental dis-regulation.
Take time to just sit and rest or if you need, move your body- walk, hike, dance, whatever.
The only way to truly teach a child to do that is
to lead by example.
You can tell your child that's what they should do, but if you don't model appropriately, they will not understand or follow suit.
Communicating with them while you're upset or angry that you need some time to be with your feelings and get back to center is SOOOOO amazingly powerful.
If you do "lash out" while in a state of dis-regulation, apologizing as soon as possible shows your child the importance of taking responsibility for your experience...assuming you don't also blame them for your behavior.
This is probably not the way you were raised but it is the way of the present and the future.
All the children are asking the adults in this world to evolve...they always have been.
Even you did in your childhood, as much as you felt you were allowed to, even if it was just a thought.
Sometimes is was a tantrum, meltdown, hitting, or getting in
trouble at school.
Children aren't quite there to simply state,
"Father/Mother, I really wish you would do your personal work and learn to regulate your emotions and navigate through your unhealed adverse childhood experiences and traumas.
You should really work with a therapist or life-coach like that Gabe Nosseir guy.
I heard he's running a special for his amazing and life-changing program to teach you how to be an even better parent than you are."
In celebration of Father's
Day this weekend, I want to send out this amazing offer- a 66% discount for my online program, A Fulfilled Man!
This program is not just for men, by the way.
Just enter code: FORDADS upon checkout for $222 off from now until Father's Day.
The price for the program with this discount is 111!
