How You Might Be
Like A Hermit Crab
Hi !
I just got back from another amazing trip to Costa Rica, a place that is full of the Pura
Vida energy of the people, which spreads all throughout the country.
It's amazing what happens when a country adopts a motto such as "Pure Life", rather than a focus of mass consumerism, domination, and individualism.
Living a Pura Vida leads you to going more with the flow of life, which always ends up connecting you more with nature, the animals in it, and the elements.
The ocean and beach come with so much unique wildlife, and this trip I found myself particularly drawn to one species.
The beach I resided at for the
two weeks I was there for was full of hermit crabs.
They were everywhere!
I would step out of my house and walk to the water to do my morning prayers and the little beings would stop what they were doing and fall into their shells, sometimes literally falling out of the tall coconut trees onto the soft sand below.
They felt fear and had an instinctual response in order to survive.
I let them know I was their friend and wouldn't harm them, but good luck convincing a hermit crab to do something outside
of its nature, such as stay outside of its shell when a human walked by.
A thought hit me when watching these interesting creatures- that humans, maybe even yourself, have a very similar pattern.
You, and everyone else, has gone through some sort of adverse childhood experience (ACE).
ACE's can be:
Physical, sexual, emotional abuse
Abandonment by parents or caretakers
Having emotionally unavailable parents
Having demanding parents (even if that pressure is not verbalized)
Experiencing bullying
Experiencing trauma
The challenging times and relationships in your life lead you to protecting yourself when you face a situation that, or person who, triggers
you to an unconscious reminder of some ACE from your past.
This trauma response leads to you choosing to:
Fight- physical, verbal, or other action to help you maintain control and power over a person or situation.
Flight- escaping or denying physical and/or emotional pain, which can lead you to try to be perfect at
everything you do, leaving relationships, even if they are healthy for you, avoiding uncomfortable conversations, etc.
Freeze (like the hermit crabs)- Pausing and evaluating how to respond to a situation.
This is actually the first response that happens before you choose to fight or flight and can show up as:
- fantasize or create an alternate reality in order to avoid the perceived threat
- avoid others, especially close relationships
- deny feelings
- disassociate from what is happening in the moment.
Fawn- escaping a perceived threat by pleasing the person who is threatening to you. This is a deep subject, so I'm going to leave it here.
Sometimes threats are real and you need to defend yourself.
Obviously if something is life-threatening, you need to take appropriate action.
But, sometimes threats are simply perceived due to those past challenging experiences, which make you more hypervigilant in order to help you feel safe.
Anyone who has gone through trauma and many ACE's, which have not been healed enough and in a healthy way, might confuse threats as safety and safety as threats.
If you're "on edge" or feel easily triggered, that is a sign to step onto
or further onto a path of healing so you can manage threats, dangerous situations, and deal with conflict in healthy ways.
As always, the first step is to commit to it with a therapist or coach and "do the work".
Your courage and dedication to invest in yourself and to work with a trained professional will always lead to better health, relationships, and financial abundance.
Are you into those sort of things?
If you don't know already, I am here for you and if you are ready to look to see if we're a good fit to work together, just reach out and let me know.
I help people like you to go from where you are today to where you really want to go in life- to flourish, to step into the limitless
badass that you are meant to be.
